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Comedy Gold (song)
"Comedy Gold" is a song sung by the Jester and King Richard in the episode of the same name. Lyrics Lines in blue are only heard on the soundtrack King Richard: Neh, I'll stick with my first plan. Teach me to be funny so I can woo my wife. Jester: Whatever you say My King. Jester: Comedy is easy once you know the basics Starting with the concept of surprise King Richard: Right. Jester: Take what folks think Give it a wink You try it on now for size King Richard: Me? Jester: Yeah. King Richard:What's black and white, and red all over? Jester: I don't know, sire. What is black and white, and red all over? King Richard: Those guys, after I behead them. Huh, huh? (King Richard pushes a guard off the balcony and we hear him scream.) King Richard: He was surprised. Jester: Comedy gold King Richard: Really? Jester: I'm tellin' ya it's comedy gold King Richard: Yes! Jester: You're killing it! If that doesn't slay them... King Richard: I'll murder ya cold! Guard: Swear to God, it's comedy gold! Jester: Well, our work here is done, so I'll just be going. King Richard: Oh, we're just getting started. Jester: Ah, right. King Richard: Lesson two. Jester: Lesson number two is also fundamental Something that we call the Rule of Three Set up the joke Give it a stroke Third time, and bam! King Richard: Yes, now me! Three serfs walk into a bar. The first serf orders a hot grog. The second serf orders a hot grog. And the third serf orders a hot grog. But he has no money or neither do the other two because they're serfs. Huh? Jester: Comedy gold King Richard: Yes, nailed it! Jester: I promise you it's comedy gold King Richard: Hilarious Jester: The crowd will be rolling... King Richard: Or heads will be rolled Jester: Oh, not with all this comedy gold King Richard: More, more. Jester: Props can be a riot Ethnic humor, can't deny it Or a pratfall if it's properly applied Depending on the viewer Take it black or work it bluer Or try an observational aside King Richard: Have you ever noticed how lepers have pieces falling off of them? I mean, what's that all about? Jester: Comedy gold King Richard: Comedy gold Both: I'm tellin' ya, it's comedy gold King Richard: Comedy gold Both: No doubt about it Jester: Talent like yours, Sire It never gets old King Richard: And if it does... You'll never get old, because you'll be dead when I execute you. Get it? Jester: Got it. King Richard: Good. Jester and King Richard: Gonna be killer Gonna be ace Folks dyin' of laughter All over the place! King Richard: And if I get desperate... Jester: A pie in the face! King Richard: I dare you. Jester and King Richard: Tellin' you it's comedy gold! NOTE: King Richard and the Jester have the following verbal exchange after the song: King Richard: You are a wonderful teacher! Perhaps now I will finally be able to satisfy my wife the same way you have. Jester: *looks guilty, thinking of his illicit activities with the Queen* King Richard: *''beat*'' My God! We've got a strange relationship. As the two walk off in separate directions, we hear one final echo of the last line of the song. Jester and King Richard: Tellin' you it's comedy gold! Gallery Comedy_Gold_(2).png Comedy_Gold_(3).png Comedy_Gold_(4).png Comedy_Gold_(5).png Category:Songs Category:Songs sung by Jester Category:Songs sung by King Richard Category:Songs used in Comedy Gold